A motley crew of cooks and stewards aboard the “Neptune,” a Dominion Government expedition ship tasked with exploring Canada’s Arctic Archipelago. As if any archipelago of ours was going to be balmy. Anyway, there’s no excuse to not groom, even in belly of winter’s beast. And will you look at those moustaches, man.
Photo: Wiki Commons

Men who live where it’s cold know there’s winter, and then there’s deep winter.

Winter’s nothing. It’s a mere pain at worst and one of nature’s quietest of beauties to behold, at best.

But deep winter’s different. Deep winter brings arctic winds that pierce bone, and if you’re ill-prepared, it’ll numb you on the spot before it goes to work on your digits and limbs.

Deep winter’s the ultimate regulator.

Like time itself, it does its thing with mechanic consistency, sans mercy, and it always will despite the death laid in its wake every time.

How does a man fight such an unrelenting, unfeeling thing? That depends.

If he’s seeking solace in the great outdoors, not being the idiot who forgets matches, lighters, butane, blankets, compasses, extra gloves, and a whole bunch of other shit, is key.

The cold is slow in how it takes a man, but take a man in time, it will. This terrifying fact is best illustrated in one of the shortest, yet most important books ever written, To Build A Fire, written by Jack London.

Two versions of the book were actually published, one in 1902 and the other, more famous one in 1908. Both feature a man with the balls to try and outlast the Yukon’s frigid temperatures via a hike, but that’s where the similarities end as the latter sees the guy punch out. And even though here’s only 38 pages to read in the 1908 book, it’ll never feel fast enough when read. That’s the thing to respect winter — such forces of nature cause pain, but like the oceans, volcanoes, crazy-ass typhoons and other fantastic subject matter for Sunday viewing, they’re essential in the cycle of life.

That’s why we write these guides; out of that same respect for something so powerful, everything is forever adapting to it. And because your hide can have it bad come the cold if you’re proactive. Not because we’re counting on you getting lost in the Yukon.

So how does man skin brave a season bent on drying it out like a prune?

That, gentlemen, is one science we know well.

Let’s go.

One: Fight Cold With Cold

Count on this being in all winter skincare literature we’ll ever write. That’s how important it is. And not just that, what’s about to be recommended is as counter-intuitive as it gets, but like peas and learning how to punch, it’s good for you: Wash your face with cold water every morning, and that includes the bleakest, coldest mornings February has to offer.

Before the kvetching starts, you’ll get used to it quicker than you’d think. And most of all, hot water — as sexy as it sounds with those polar vortexes unleashing hell from the skies — is the last thing your skin needs when cold air’s drying enough.

“Hot showers can feel good,” says Dr. Ben Barankin, one of resident dermatologists and Director at the Toronto Dermatology Centre. “But they do strip more of our natural oils from our skin, which makes for [even] more dryness, irritation and sometimes itching, especially if you don’t moisturize right after your shower.”

That’s right, the man said “shower.” Once you graduate from cold face washes (and don’t skimp on a proper product for the “wash” part), try a shower that’s neither ice-cold, nor lukewarm.

It might take a few go’s at it, but you’ll be thankful.

Two: The One Beard Softening Hack Of Which You (Probably) Never Thought

Before you shorn men skip to three, burly beards aren’t a must for this hack to work; Whether it’s Drake level or mountain man, you’re good either way.

Yes, we want you to put this in your beard. Read what’s to your left to find out why.

Wash your beard of all the germs, dead skin, oil and other types of crud that builds up in it every day.

Next, take our Fortifying Conditioner, the one we make for your hair, and massage it through your beard with the combined grace and passion of a potter.

Get in there good, too, don’t be nervous; There’s nothing in our conditioner your face can’t handle… unless your face can’t handle a small amount of parfum, in which case, that’s fine. A lot of guys’ faces are sensitive to fragrances (that said, rinse it out after a minute, you don’t want to mess around).

If you know your face can take it, conditioner’s worth a go considering what lies within ours: Leading the way’s one of our favourite ingredients, the antimicrobial that is jojoba oil (pronounced ho-HO-Bah). So essential is this stuff for your skin that it mimics sebum, an oil your own scalp makes to keep it from drying out.

Jojoba also adds a nice little layer of natural sealant to skin that’ll keep out dirt and debris (albeit for a day, max).

By the way, another awesome ingredient that lives in our conditioner is beeswax, a known humectant that pulls water to your skin by snatching it from the air, keeping it well hydrated through winter’s wretchedest of days when humidity’s M.IA.

Three: The Painfully Obvious Face Moisturizer Mention

One would think all men do this today, but even you know that one guy who can’t be bothered.

Good thing for you you’re not that guy.

Still, it can’t be stressed enough — you’ve got to moisturize every morning post-face wash (especially if you shave clean). Winter’s freezing winds wreak havoc on whatever skin’s exposed, and if you think about it, our faces are on the front-lines; they’re almost always exposed to the cold (unless you’re one those kids repping that weird new balaclava trend).

Four: The One Thing All Beards Need — A Good Balm

Back to your beard for 30 seconds.

Now that you’re out the shower, that thing should be drying, and that’s where you want it when it’s balm time.

You already knew our Beard Brush evens out balm distribution, but did you know it’s also therapeutic to use… not unlike a stress ball or a rage room, one of those enclosed spaced in which you can unleash your fury upon all kinds of inanimate objects.

With three or four pump’s worth of our Beard Balm in one hand, rub both together for five seconds or so.

Now work the balm through your beard, letting your fingers make way the whole time so all that Vitamin E can give it the love it needs.

Almost there.

We made a Beard Brush for this last step, and don’t, those boar bristles won’t scratch your face. Brush beard downward and toward your mouth for perfect symmetry and even better balm distribution (plus you’ll split less ends this way).

The only time you’re brushing upward is when you’re taking care of whatever’s under your chin (and it better not be a full on neck beard).

How To Wash Your Beard Brush:

One. Grab a small bowl and fill it halfway with some warm water.

Two. Mix about a teaspoon’s worth of liquid soap (yes, the kind for hands will do) into the water and stir that sucker with back end of your shaving razor (you just cleaned half your shaving razor, nice).

Three. You should see suds now, so grab that brush and swirl it around your cleaning concoction with its bristles facing downward. Do this for about 40 to 60 seconds.

Four. Rinse that brush with hot water (20 seconds is enough).

Five. Lastly, air your beard brush by setting it on its side atop something absorbent, like an extra face towel; You don’t want to stress the hairs with the handle’s weight, nor do you want it sitting upside down. If you do, all that excess water from the wash will seep into said handle.

Five: What’s Good For Your Hands Is Good For The Rest of You

This one’s for the time savers: You know that Active Relief Hand Cream we make? No one’s stopping you from applying that godly nectar to your entire body — or at least the parts that need it most.

If it’s cracking, calloused or just dry as fuck, rub our hand cream on it and let that avocado oil go to work. Since you’re wondering, avocado oil’s another utility hitter when it comes to good skin health (and it needn’t only be winter to apply such a thing); Like other legendary plant oils you’ll find in our products, the one at hand’s particularly good barrier repair.

This comes in handy when indoor heating gives your hide a beating.

Six: The Almighty Power of Vitamin D3

Vitamin D’s not going to cure skin of things like seborrheic dermatitis, that’s not how it works.

But what makes Vitamin D a must during winter are two key factors. 1) It helps keep the human immune system in top shape. 2) We get some Vitamin D from the sun, which likes to hide its face a lot come the colder months.

In other words, regular Vitamin D intake won’t heal your dermal inflammation head-on, but it could help give your immunity a fighting chance if you’ve got one. Not to mention there are some studies that show lacking Vitamin D and having dry skin could go hand in hand.

“All northern climate men and women should take vitamin D since most of us are deficient [in it],” affirms Dr. Barankin. “1,000 IU’s the recommended daily amount.”

Seven: Don’t Call It Chap… You Know.

As if Shea butter infused lip protection needs any explaining right now.

Your Deep Winter Grooming Guide