Should You Bleach Your Hair?

Billy Idol, the godfather of grumbled voices and “I don’t care” hair.

Illustration: Oliver Kuhlmann

In life — in this reality — there are questions whose metaphysical weight both plague and enamour the mind.

There’s the question of why we’re here.

People who love using fifty dollar words call this “existentialism,” but whatever.

There’s also the eternal debate on the existence of a divine entity, or a ‘god.’

And this doesn’t factor in all the mind-bending mysteries of the universe, or the chance there’s more than one of them. Have fun with that.

And then, there’s a question that’ll stun even the most stoic of men, and it’s done so for almost 50 years now: If a man is not a famous musician or a star athlete, should he bleach his hair?

The average reader would laugh the above off like some absurd joke, but this blog isn’t meant for them. You are reading this, and there’s a reason for that. The grooming brand by which this blog is facilitated speaks to a certain kind of a guy and girl. You’re reading this because even though some people find hair dye meaningless, you know it’s not. You know the shape, health — and yes — colour of a man’s hair is as key to sculpting his style as the cut of his suit and the tone in his speech.

All of it — even the smallest of detail — means something.

And not to blare a cliche, but, how you look affects how you feel.

In fact, science has proven as much. Five years ago, Social Psychology and Personality Science published a report that showed a difference in test results between subjects who were dressed formally and subjects who dressed down. According to the five separate studies conducted, “putting on formal clothing induced greater category inclusiveness…and enhanced a global processing advantage.” In other words, the well-dressed participants did better than the other ones, especially in areas requiring creativity. There are plenty more studies online just like this one, too.

So, is it possible that the colour of hair dye you choose — or even the look of bleached hair itself — could affect how you feel and perform in life? We think so.

But even without science’s voice of reason chiming in, you know that if there’s one thing that’ll ruin your day, it’s a hair disaster.

So, for the sake of your reputation and self-confidence, let’s entertain our theory.

If you want your hair bleached, welcome to the club. We’d bet you can pull it off, too.

But there are things to know first. Here are they are.

Don’t Try This At Home

Your most frugal of friends and family members will break your balls on this. They’ll say, “Bro, $140 for someone to turn you into Billy Idol? No way. Let’s go to unnamed local drug store and grab one of those boxes with the hot girl on it.”

Yes, this will save you some cash, but you have to resist the temptation. There’s a good chance you’ll cause some real damage by attempting something meant for a pro. For one, if the treatment’s left in for too long, you’ll fry your scalp. “The reason you shouldn’t do it at home is because bleach is pretty aggressive,” says Luca Caracciolo, Owner of Luma Salon & Spa in Woodbridge, Ontario (and yes, brother to Crown’s Founder, Dino). “You need to use a proper on-scalp lightener or you’ll risk chemical burns in the scalp.” Those come with pain, by the way. Pain and, if it’s been left in long enough, hair loss. “In fact,” says Caracciolo, “If it’s possible, I’ll try my best not to apply bleach directly to the scalp, especially if the client’s hair’s long enough. But this all depends on length.”

Caracciolo also adds that sometimes it takes two or three rounds of bleaching to get that platinum look all the cool kids are getting.

Our good man and Owner of The Blank Canvas, Giancarlo Fagundes.

But we call him “Gigi.” You don’t get to call him that, though. Just kidding.

Either way, though, you’ll feel a burn. But, there’s a trick that’ll minimize it, you babies: Don’t shampoo the day of the dye job; the natural oil your scalp makes should soften the blow a little. And if anything, you shouldn’t shampoo every day anyway, but we’ve told you that enough.

In sum, don’t do this shit at home.

Book a pro hair colourist. See that gentleman on the right? He’s a pro. We’ll get to him in a second.

Know How To Pick The Right Shade

Do you want something close to golden?

How about the darker side of grey (or “Ash” as they say today)? Have you thought of platinum? This isn’t as simple as sitting there and saying, “bleach my hair,” you know.

“When picking a hair colour, it’s important to reference your own skin tone and facial structure,” says Giancarlo Fagundes, Owner of The Blank Canvas barbershop (another Woodbridge, Ontario spot). “Gigi,” as he’s known at work, is one of the few in his area who offers colour treatments as a barber. “Certain colours can either compliment your skin tone or clash with it. For example, a light colour, like platinum, might wash out your complexion if you have light skin.” Never pass on consulting your barber (or hairstylist) on this part.

One of Gigi’s happy clients, post dye-job. Image: @yourbarbergigi

By the way, we call this kind of cut a “French Crop.” This one’s got a nice fade and some texture to boot.

While punk rock’s rise might’ve popularized bleached hair, it wasn’t the only province legitimizing the look.

Take late acting legend, Rutger Hauer, who helped pioneer platinum hair with his twisted turn as a killer android in 82’s Blade Runner.

Image: Warner Bros.

What Actually Happens During The Whole Thing

The key word here is “toner.” You’ll hear your barber or stylist mention this and it is, for all intents and purposes, the actual colour you picked when scrolling through pictures of soccer players last week. The bleach itself isn’t the colouring agent.

“Once the hair’s lightened to a pale yellow we’d tone it to achieve the shade you want,” confirms Caracciolo. “That shade could be bright blonde, silver, or something a little darker, like ash.”

The whole thing should take around 45 minutes, depending on your hair length. And about that — shorter cuts like fades and short tapers take bleach faster than longer ones; Our scalps emit a natural heat that makes for easier absorption of those chemicals.

Embrace A Life Of Maintenance, Or Get Ready to Live With Roots For A While

There’s no way around the fact that dying your hair’s not cheap, and considering what’s happening during the process, nor should it be. A good colourist’s going to charge you anywhere between $100 and $200 per visit. And that’s not including root management. Your Those things are going to start showing up sooner or later, so you’ll need touch ups every four to six weeks. Again, that all depends on length, too.

Otherwise, get used to the grunge rock look ‘till your hair’s long enough for a fresh cut.

It’s either that, or buzz it.

Product Check (You’re Almost There)

Before you leave the joint, pick up some colour-specific shampoo and conditioner. And it never hurts to test your stylist’s knowledge and up-selling chops by asking for help here. You’ve got new hair, so ask everything that springs to mind.

If they know what’s up, they’ll point you toward stuff that’ll retain moisture up there; bleached hair can dry out faster than you’d think. Hopefully they’ll also hook you up with a purple conditioner, a godsend for light blonde hair; Artificially blonde hair can sometimes turn, as the industry calls it, “brassy” or orange-like over time. These conditioners keep all that from happening while stretching out the lustre and warmth in your chosen shade. Just make sure to use it at least twice a week or there’s no point.

Speaking of, ever heard of leave-conditioner? Because you’ll need it now if your hair’s dry to begin with, (never mind what all that bleach will do).