You know the guy who takes client calls in the middle of a funeral?

Or what about the one who won’t shake hands after the game ‘cause he lost? Yeah.

No one’s perfect, but there’s nothing worse than a grown man sans tact.

Of all basic life skills a guy should learn, none trump proper etiquette. How you conduct yourself precedes you and your reputation. Though, technically, your etiquette (or lack thereof) is the second impression you’ll make in any situation, second to your dress and hygiene, that is. Don’t lie to yourself, people judge books by their covers, and so do you.

We published a fundamental guide to gentlemanly etiquette, and it’s right here if you want to check it out.

But take it from us—barbershop etiquette’s its own beast, hence this article.

Grab that adult beverage and take a seat. We’re going back to school… for, like, 11 minutes.

I. Punctuality & Cancellation

Life features its fair share of surprises, the good kind and the bad. One minute you’re tooling down the highway, the next, some titanic worm monster springs forth from under the earth and mauls a neighbourhood on your left, like in that ‘90s movie Tremors. You know, the first one with young Kevin Bacon.

Should you find yourself on the wrong end of a highway chase before your haircut appointment — or if you’re just going to be late — have the damn decency to call the joint. There’s a chance you’ll be offered an open slot later in the day. But if you flake like corn, then they’ll black list you harder than hail falls.

And if you’re not going to be late, be the guy who gets there 10 minutes early. You’d be surprised how often your stylist will be ready to go, and they’ll respect you for it.

“A Barber’s Shop” by Thomas Rowlandson (circa 1811)
Illustration: Wikimedia Commons

II. Always Wash Your Hair Pre-Cut

This one sounds obvious, yet you’d be surprised how often barbers have to tackle locks ladled with two-day-old product and stacked sebum.

Freshly washed hair’s optimal for shearing and styling post-cut.

III. Of Consultations & Trepidation

This one’s as much about you getting your value as it is about respecting your barber. Remember, a professionally executed haircut must always be bookended by two consultations: There’s the first one, the one that happens when your barber asks what you want. At this point, a good barber will oblige ‘cause it’ll suit your face shape, or, they’ll have the balls to suggest something else because it won't. The second consult should happen post-cut.; This one’s just as crucial since they’ll want to keep that cut looking good ‘till it’s haircut time again. Your barber’ll talk product, application technique and frequency, that kind of thing.

And if your barber does none of the aforesaid, get the hell out of that joint. Go.

IV. Fidgeters Never Prosper (Or Why Using Your Phone During A Haircut Is Douchey)

When one is in a barber’s chair, one must respect said barber’s instructions ‘till the job’s done.

The worst client is completely apathetic to their posture and head movements. When a barber asks you to tilt your head this way or that, do it and stay there until that stylist says otherwise. And remember: The default head position is a dead stare straight ahead, neutral back. Don’t go on your phone or you’ll be a pain the ass.

Don’t slouch.

Don’t check your stocks mid-cut, or you might just get a random line carved into your sideburn.

Don’t take a call mid-cut. Only assholes do that. And if it’s your wife who’s in labour, what the hell are you doing at the barber?

V. No Micro-Managers Allowed

The last thing a barber wants to hear besides “call 9-11” is instructions on how to cut hair. That human being either went to school for their trade or they paid their dues in-shop. Either way, he who nit picks and has the audacity to micro-manage a barber will likely be advised to zip it.

VI. Jeepers Creepers

Imagine being a barber and having a client make constant eye contact while you cut their hair. That shit’s right out of a Hitchcock flick. And yet, the eye lock attempt happens more than you’d think. “There’s one thing that all barbers hate—when we get in close for a shave or a perfect clipper line and the client’s staring us dead in the eyes” recalls our Founder, Dino, who used to sling cuts by the hour before launching Crown Shaving Co. “Whenever this would happen to me, I’d tell the client that one of us should close our eyes and that since I was always holding the blade, it shouldn’t be me.”

VII. Don’t Restyle Your New Cut In Front Of Your Barber

One of the most ignorant things a client can do is restyle their new haircut post-cut… right in front of their barber.

VIII. The Art of Tipping

This is about as sensitive as it’s gotten here topics-wise, and that’s saying something; We don’t do religion or politics, and we never will.

The old rule of thumb went as follows: Anything between five and ten dollars would suffice as a gentlemanly way of thank your barber.

IX. Breath Awareness Month Is Every Month (or Barbers Have Noses, Too)

If you smashed some garlic linguine pre-cut, do something about it, you savage.

Same goes for the cologne, guys. If you’re about to get your hair cut, go easy on the fragrance. Or better yet, skip it altogether. Your deodorant’ll hold the fort just fine.

Barbershop Etiquette 101