Spring Grooming Vol. 2: The Great De-Bearding
Image: Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman; Universal Studios
Like we said in our initial instalment of this series, spring grooming's not unlike like spring cleaning; A man purges what's got to go, then he goes to town on what’s left.
We started with a how-to on what we call "de-straggling" (or how to properly trim your beard in five minutes). That was for you guys who don’t want to let it go, and that’s understandable. But what about those of you who want to start from scratch or just change it up?
In our ongoing effort to help you de-hibernate with dignity, we present part two of Spring Grooming, "The Great De-Bearding" (or how to remove a mane, then shave clean with a double edge safety razor).
Here to help is Canadian barber and co-founder of History Barbershop in Barrie, Michael McIntaggart, a friend and man who's shaved many a mug with skill and care.
Don't forget, if you want to refer to these guides later, they'll live on our blog forever... and ever.
Let’s begin.
The Wahl Peanut may look small, but it’ll mow through a beard like it’s nothing. You’ll see.
(Psst… click that picture to read our piece on the Peanut and why it’s the best trimmer a man can buy.)
1. The Actual De-Bearding (Not To Be Confused With That Thing You Do To Mussels)
It's not easy to say bye to a beard, even though you know it'll grow right back. Every single follicle earned its journey from stubble to split-ended stallion. That thing became a part of you... as weird as it sounds.
That's why it's best to clench up and get cold about it. No wussing out. The only way to do that is with a Wahl Peanut, and no, this isn't an ad. Wahl's people didn't pay us to say this. It's just that good of a clipper/trimmer, with a rotary motor whose strength belies its small size. But when they say "small," we hear "travel friendly." We love this thing so much we published a piece on it last year; check it out.
The Peanut packs four guards, from 1/8 inch to 1/2 inch. This matters since you never want to go double zero (or no guard) from the jump; You could cut yourself, you’ll clog that machine, and you'll stress its motor.
An exception can be made if you're getting rid of stubble, but that's it.
Best rule of thumb when it come to picking a guard level is the thicker and longer the beard, the higher the level to start. As that mane shrinks every round, just go one step lower guard-wise and repeat the process. Simple. Just make sure you stop every couple of passes to clean out those blades, or again, they’ll clog up.
Before you start, open up that fresh new composting bag and “fill” your sink with it, such that it’s sitting right side up and ready to collect hair (and if you need tape for its edges, go for it).
Or, skip the bag. But chances are you'll be buying Draino every month at best, and hiring a plumber tomorrow at worst.
And if you’re wondering, yes, human hair is definitely compostable.
Voilà, the optimally angled Henson AL13.
2. The Prepping
“A beard well lathered is half shaved, as they say in the old text,” reminds McIntaggart. “And pre-shave glides and oils aren’t absolutely necessary, but technically neither is direct fuel injection. Like that [aforesaid] automotive technology, pre-shave solutions make the performance and outcome much more efficient, reliable and comfortable.”
You have to admit, the man makes a good point. Also, as a bearded man, it's been ages since sharp steel has scraped your face clean, so kill as much friction as you can with a good pre-shave formula. Ours has organic aloe, a beauty for its proven anti-inflammaory properties.
As for a quality instrument, our favourite’s the Canadian made Henson AL13.
And yes, you should switch out that blade after every shave.
But hey, no one’s telling you what to do.
3. The Shave
Our man of the hour, Mr. Michael McIntaggart, doing what he does best.
Photo: History Barbershop
The key to acing this is balancing the right amount of pressure while gripping your safety razor at just the right angle. That, and using a copious amount of premium shave cream.
“Keep your thumb, index, middle and ring finger gripping as far near the end of the handle as possible, like you’re holding a pencil and the eraser end is the blade head,” instructs McIntaggart. “And depending on the weight of the razor, use minimal pressure at first; if it’s a light razor, us medium pressure. Don’t let you elbow sag. Stretch the skin lightly with your other hand when necessary or possible.”
“If you can keep track of which side of the double edge blade you’re using during the shave, use one side for half the face and then switch. And keep the channels of your blade clean by rinsing frequently throughout.”
Remember — go with the grain, not against it. And use short, light strokes. You don’t want irritated skin or acne.
And if your skin can get away with two passes, by all means, Maximus.
By the way, if you're wondering, "But why a safety razor?" Here's why: 1. One blade equals less drag, and less drag equals less cuts. 2. Disposable razors pollute the earth, but you knew that. 3. Safety razors are manly, but you knew that, too.
4. The Finale
Fact: Shaving's technically a form of exfoliation, and your face hasn't gone through that sort of thing in who knows how long. Don't give your skin the shaft.
When you’re done depilating, splash your face with cold water (no wining); the cold will help stop any bleeding on account of nicks and cuts.
Once you’ve patted that babyface dry with a towel, get some premium after shave balm on it. Massage the stuff gently onto wherever you dragged that blade, and keep going until it’s gone.
Now, go and soar the universe a phoenix born anew.
A special thank you to Michael McIntaggart, Co-Founder of History Barbershop