A Few Things To Distract You From The Record Surge In Gas Prices
Photo: David Falconer/U.S. National Archives & Records Administration (Wikimedia Commons)
It’s never been this bad at the pumps.
As of yesterday, the average price for Canadian gas was $1.85, while diesel — once the saviour of frugal drivers — has skyrocketed by 40 cents per litre.
Things are getting weird again, folks. But obsessing over it’s not good for the mind, not to mention all that cortisol people are pumping due to stress. Shit will give you a pot belly.
So we figured we’d do what good old, North Americans do — help distract you from the impeding apocalypse.
Let’s go.
The Batman Came Out Last Weekend And It’s Not A Revelation, But It Also Doesn’t Suck
Geeks have salivated over this thing since that trailer came out in 2020, you know, the one with Nirvana’s “Something in the Way” in it. With two delays in behind it (and a wicked bug seemingly seeing itself out by the day), The Batman — or Battinson — is finally here.
Director Matt Reeves’ take on our tormented hero took home $134 million last weekend, the one in which it premiered. That’s slam-dunk numbers for a three-hour, slow-grinding ode to neo noires and everything David Fincher, not your typical, breakneck blockbuster superhero movie.
You’ll get brooding voice-over narration a la Taxi Driver against slow-mo montages, unhurried, gruesome crime scene investigations and a villain that’ll genuinely scare you silly.
It’s also not without its plot holes, and it wears its political badges a little too proudly, but it’s also beautiful to admire and Colin Farrell’s Penguin’s a rare feat in superhero movie acting.
Go see it.
Ikea Might Be Mind-Fing You Into Buying Their Stuff Once You’re In Their Stores
Thanks to the good people at thehustle.co, we just found out Ikea keeps unwitting, in-store customers filling their carts ‘till it’s check-out time with a clever method — the old maze-meets-floor-plan trick. The entire concept’s based on a psychological principle called the “Gruen Transfer,” which defines a labyrinthine retail layout designed to make you forget why you even walked into the joint.
The article goes on to confirm that 60% of Ikea purchases are “impulse buys,” that the company’s own Creative Director says only “20% of the stores’ purchases are based on actual, logical needs, and that the average customer journeys through 50+ rooms — or “about five football fields” — before they’re done shopping.
You’ll love this one.
Elon Musk’s New Conspiracy Theory On Bitcoin’s Creator Is Pretty Cool
A couple nights ago, Tesla and SpaceX’s CEO got to tweeting whatever he felt like tweeting again, only this time he’s not throwing jabs — he’s playing dot-connector and what he’s found is nothing if not curious.
According to futurism.com, Musk might’ve unfurled a layer of lies to cover up who really invented the world’s biggest digital currency (a mystery that’s seemingly plagued Musk’s mind for some time now). Musk posted a picture of four of Japan’s top tech companies’ logos — Samsung, Toshiba, Nakamichi and Motorola — and suggests Satoshi Nakamoto, the infamous and possibly bullshit pseudonym for Bitcoin’s father, is just a fake name made up of the first few letters of each of the aforesaid brands’ names.
Even for Musk, you’ve got to admit this is worth a moment’s pause.
Study Shows Way Too Many American Men Think Dad Bods Equal Good Health
About a week ago major market research firm, Ipsos, and Florida-based medicinal care provider, MDVIP, released the findings of a survey in which 1,000 men answered specific questions about their health.
Over half of the guys who participated (55%) basically think having a “dad bod” — where your waist’s wider than your shoulders and the chub’s all there — is totally okay.
Rocking a friar’s gut is not okay — not if you want to see your golden years, that is. Everyone knows belly fat can lead to type-2 diabetes, heart disease or even a stroke. You don’t want any of that.
Here’s a quote from Dr. Andrea Klemes, Chief Medical Officer at MDVIP (courtesy of a recent prnewswire post about the matter):
"While a dad bod may appear harmless and be socially accepted by both men and women, they need to understand that carrying that extra weight around the middle can have significant health consequences," said Dr. Andrea Klemes, chief medical officer at MDVIP. "It's equally important to recognize that abdominal obesity and the chronic diseases associated with it are highly preventable through changes in diet and exercise, routine screenings and regular checkups with a doctor. Men are notorious for avoiding medical care, so the key is encouraging them to put these healthy habits into practice, which our survey found is often influenced by their partners."
It might seem obvious to some, but please never normalize being out of shape.
Really, don’t.