How To Grow And Care For A Beard
Praying Man With A Long Beard, by Italian Renaissance painter, Moretto da Brescia (circa 1845)
Image: Wikimedia Commons
So.
You seek to split oceans with the mere waving of your hand.
You want the soon-to-be hair on your face to make you more interesting, because you knew it was always possible to be even more interesting.
You want to be that guy.
Or maybe you just want women to think, “Dang, he just doesn’t give a shit” when you walk by them.
None of it matters. We can fluff this up all we want, but the truth is, you’ve finally let go.
You want to wear a beard. And not an office-friendly beard or anything like that, but a winter-proof beard. A veritable facial fortress of follicular formidability.
You’d have made Tyler Durden proud, you know. For to embrace what nature wills is to reach nirvana levels of masculinity. Or something like that. And you know it, too.
But truth be told, growing and wearing a handsome beard isn’t just a matter of carrying on with life and letting time take its course. And yes, there will be an itchy phase that sucks. But you’ve been punched in the chin. You’ve had something heavy fall on your head. You’ve slammed the car door on your fingers.
You can take the itch. Short term pain, long term gain.
Here’s how to grow and care for a beard, gentlemen.
First, A Quick Word On Levels of Beard Hair Thickness & Growth Rate
If you’re wondering how fast your beard will grow and how thick it’ll get, look no further than good old science. In fact, we published something on hirsuteness levels in men last year, and like we said then, beard thickness comes down to something called 5-alpha reductase, an enzyme we make that plays a crucial role in our general hair growth.
Testosterone’s well-involved in beard hair growth, plus it helps form a deeper, more masculine tone of voice, not to mention it helps regulate your overall health). But when it comes to how much hair your face will sprout, testosterone’s actually dependent on “5-a” reductase.
Without out getting too technical, 5-a reductase does the job of a converter, not unlike a car’s catalytic converter. 5-a reductase converts testosterone (an androgen, or male sex hormone that does a lot for you, like help you build muscle) into something called DHT (or dihydrotestosterone). Some of this happens in your balls, some in your prostate and even skin.
Why does this matter? DHT is directly responsible for facial hair growth.
We all have DHT in us and that’s okay.
Here’s the thing: The more 5-a reductase, then, sure, the thicker the beard. But there’s a cruel tradeoff that happens for a lot us in such a case; Yes, more 5-a equals more DHT, and when there’s an abundance of DHT, there’s (usually) male pattern baldness (or androgenic alopecia). DHT goes to town on what’s up top, and that’s why you always see dudes with epic beards going bald. Life’s dark, man.
Basically, your testosterone’s final say over the look of your beard.
Also—How Old Are You?
No one around here’s ageist or anything, it’s that age will decide a couple key factors here.
If you’re new to high school and you’re pissed off some of the other guys have beards while you’re still babyfaced, don’t freak out. Most young men start seeing facial hair growth in their early teens, but some boys can grow a gentlemanly moustache even earlier.
Since you now know beard thickness is based on testosterone, know this, too: As you age, your beard will lose its density since a guy’s T levels start to dip. When this happens is actually not as concrete as you’d think. For some men it’ll happen around 35, while for others, that sluggishness won’t be felt ‘till they’re forty-something.
Stage I
(1 to 2 weeks post clean shave)
How is that stubble somehow makes a moustache look even better?
Photo: Unsplash
What To Expect
Stubble
Long, quizzical looks in the mirror
Your significant other will dodge you on account of your new, sandpapery face, so don’t skip on a good daily moisturizer to keep it loveable and non-flammable.
If you’re new to this, your co-workers will both take the piss and compliment your new shadow.
Did you know the average diameter of a beard hair’s roughly double the size of the a strand of hair from your scalp?
Now you know why your beard’s coarser than what’s up top.
Run your fingertips across your mug about a week, week and a half post shave and you’ll see what we mean.
A Word On Trimming Your Own Beard
By now, your moustache and beard will have gotten hefty enough to warrant regular trims.
The way we see it, a beard trim and a beard sculpt are not the same; Do the former yourself, but leave the latter to a pro barber. Why? For one, all a trim requires is pruning split ends and wonky, wiry sprouts that stand out. Nothing else.
When you get into sculpting, you’re in another province. Sculpting’s as much about preserving shape as it is about cutting hair, and if you’re not practiced at this, you run the risk of turning your mane into an abstract period Picasso.
This includes your moustache; You might not beused to having a lip rug this dense, but quell the urge to cut out the fat. Proportion’s for a barber, while quick upkeep’s for you.
Stage II
(3 weeks to 1.5 months post-clean shave)
What To Expect
Think of a good beard wash as a specialist.
You wouldn’t send a generalist to do a specialist’s job, would you?
The dreaded itch, but here’s the good news: It’s an itch and you’re a man. And not just that, said infamous beard growth itch is all but temporary. Expect this part to last two weeks to a month.
Meantime, run our Beard Brush through your new mane once to twice a day to kill some of the itch.
Again, if this is your first time, you’ll learn how fast things fill out. This may lead to beard hair twirling and other such puerile habits. Don’t do this, or you’ll look weird.
The Ace Move
You’re not turning back now, so that means you’re all in beard-wise.
Since you’re now invested, you’ll need to keep that thing clean. After all, faces have a penchant for ridding themselves of dead skin, and a beard will naturally trap a lot of it. And this doesn’t even include all that wayward motor oil, kitchen grease, and god knows what else you deal with daily.
Follow up our mug-loving Face Wash with the mane-restoring power of our Beard Wash. The latter boasts the right balance of natural ingredients tailored for cleaning it all—everything from the ends of all that hair, right to the skin on your face.
The Patchy Ones
As with a lot of topics that get unwarranted attention, we’re going to be simple about this: If your face looks like the Galapagos Islands with a beard, guess what? Who cares. And not just who cares, own it.
On dates, tell her/him you model for alopecia brochures on the sides.
Grow what you have. Those who stare likely can't grow beards.
Stage III
(Roughly 2+ months post shave)
Photo: Unsplash | Brock Wagner
What To Expect
A veritable sense of accomplishment
Selective looks from the opposite and same sex
A heightened capacity for wisdom
Beard flakes on your shoulders (maybe)
The Ace Move
Meet the mane tamer you always knew you needed, our indomitable Beard Balm.
Use it and never let stragglers or sprouts get the best of you again.
Look at that thing. You’re an animal.
A full beard’s a feat at which one ought to marvel, but more beard hair demands disciplined upkeep.
A beard of heft and maturity needs nothing less than consistent hydration. Otherwise, it’ll get brittle, it’ll flake up, and it’ll plain look bad.
Keep your new beard smooth and lustrous with a proper balm, one with natural, plant-based moisturizers that are good for faces, like olive oil and the all-important, Vitamin E. By the way, our formula doesn’t just clean manes, it promotes healthy hair regrowth.
Here’s how to use our Beard Balm:
Get three to six pump’s worth into your palms… or maybe more; Use your beard’s size, texture, and density as reference points when it determining a desired amount for application. Just don’t go overboard.
Rub your palms, then work the product through your beard to get the outside of it well coated.
Lock that balm in with a few strokes of our handmade, double-sided Beard Comb. Don’t forget: Don’t use too much or your beard’ll get all greasy.
And don’t over-comb it, unless you like split ends.
Here’s The Difference Between A Beard Comb And A Beard Brush
A comb’s best for detangling a beard of good length before styling it with product. Just know the fine-toothed side’s for getting out debris and dead skin, while the other one’s for styling and distributing product. But if your beard’s curly, just stick to the latter side of the comb for a smoother ride.
And don’t comb it more than a couple times a day, or you’re asking for split ends.
Our Beard Brush, on the other hand, is perfect for softening your beard after it’s been combed, and generally adding that finishing touch. But, remember some rules are meant to be broken; If you want to use the comb strictly for detangling, and the brush strictly for styling, your beard’ll be just fine.
Our Beard Brush is perfect for:
Softening your beard after it’s been combed.
Removing any excess sebum that could irritate your skin.
Helping prevent breakage and split ends.
Generally adding that finishing touch.
But, if you want to use the comb strictly for detangling, and the brush strictly for styling, go for it; Your beard’ll be just fine.