How To Trim Your Nose Hair
Photo: Raimond Spekking/Wikimedia Commons
No one wants to see your nose hair.
People want to see noise hair like they want to see roadkill or someone’s opened fly.
That makes no one, save for a few demented folks.
No one likes seeing things like nose hair because it’s unsightly.
If there’s a line that separates the tolerable faux pas from the intolerable ones, nose hair hangs out in the latter’s deep end. And while exposed nose hair isn’t quite as offensive as passing wind or belching among company, it is more offensive than keeping your shoes on in someone’s house sans asking the shoe rule or pointing at people in public like an asshole.
Getting old is a part of life, granted, but no one woke up today and factored nose hair into their list of things to dodge. Nose hairs are the butt crack of your face.
If your nose hair’s showing, be a good citizen and trim it.
Here’s how to do just that.
First, A Word On Frequency
How often you’ll trim your nose hair depends entirely on your genes. Are you hairy? Were your forefathers hairy? Has 40 come and gone? If it’s a “yes” to all those, then you’re looking at once every two days or so. Otherwise, once a week’s the default setting you’ll want.
What To Use
This comes down to who wins when the luddite on your right shoulder fights the technophile on the left. For the first of the two methods we’ll look at, let’s assume the technophile wins.
The Best Battery-Powered Nose Hair Trimmer
Battery-powered trimmers boast blades that, once revved up, eat through nose hair like nothing. Our favourite is Panasonic’s High-Performance Multi-Use trimmer, not just because it works in and out of the shower but because it’s worth every penny. Double edge blades fashioned from Japanese stainless steel sit inside a protective cone that keep said blades from slicing the interior of your nostrils. And it’s even got a built-in vacuum system. Hey, if you’re going hard, go hard.
The Best Manual Solution
If you’re still reading, chances are you like things done the hard way. Respectable, but let’s hope you’re not an actual luddite. The robots will take over whether we like it or not.
Since you rely on the dexterity of your hands, consider Tweezerman’s Nickel Plated Facial Hair Scissors, the fittest instrument for the task. Both blades are rounded at the tip in case sudden blasts of thunder make you jump. Both blades are also concave like the inside of your nostrils, so with a steady hand and enough patience, getting in and out of those holes will be a cinch.
Remember These Two Crucial Tips
Regardless of which of the two aforesaid methods you pick, you’ll want your head tilted back under a light while you trim. This’ll give you the best view of what’s got to go and what not to touch.
Don’t be an idiot and wax your nose hair like the guy below.
Happy Grooming, gents.