Men Should Care About Valentine's Day (And Why You Should, Too)

Passion is good, but don’t go shooting people over it like Clarence in 93’s True Romance (Quentin Tarantino’s first screenplay, by the way). Image: Warner Bros.

It’s never been this cool to not care.

We’ve all run into a “No Fucks Given” meme on our online jaunts. There’s even a book, albeit a good one, called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck,” by Mark Manson. That should actually be called “The Subtle Art of Not Overthinking Shit That Doesn’t Matter.”

In business meetings, it’s not the guy who closes, but the guy who’s willing to walk who wins. Consider our collective addiction to social media, too, which literally turns people into dopamine-dependent zombies. We’ve made our personal fiefdoms and follower numbers matter more than life itself. And let’s not get started on online dating, or as we call it, “boyfriend/girlfriend shopping.” We’re always kicked up on instant hits of gratification.

It’s little surprise, then, that our culture doesn’t care.

We say to hell with that. If caring today is counterintuitive, then we say destroy indifference.

Our ethos has always been about being contrarian when it counts. We say it’s time to care again. And who cares about alleged legends about priests marrying couples on the run. No one thinks of that stuff when they think of Valentine’s Day.

In the name of preserving what’s sacred, be the guy who cares this Valentine’s Day.

Just don’t try too hard.

We’ll explain.

1. I Don’t Need A Made-Up Day to Express Love To My Partner. Yes, Prince Charming, you do. If you’re like a lot of people, you live your waking life working. A once-a-year injection of romance is good for you. As in, it’s good for your health. Believe it or not, a study done at Arizona State University showed that expressing and receiving affection takes a hatchet to stress. The key lies in a chemical we make called “oxytocin,” also known as the feel good hormone. Every time we’re hugged, smooched, caressed, or, you know, stuff, oxytocin is set loose.

2. People Can Detect Fake Apathy. People know you. They know you send your partner care packages at work with hand written notes, charcoal-infused chocolates, and shit that makes their baths foamier. Don’t act like a tough guy because people like participating in something fun and cheesy (we’re looking at you, too, women). Sometimes, cheesy is good.

3. “It’s A Hallmark Holiday.” Yeah, So Is Christmas. And so is Halloween, and Thanksgiving, and you haven’t stopped indulging in gravy pools and superhero costumes. Hallmark holidays only suck when you’ve got to think of something cool to do for someone who loves you. Repeat that to yourself, and if you’re not the devil incarnate, we’re good here.

4. If You’re Single, Ask Someone Out. One doesn’t need to be involved to have dinner with someone hot. Just own the balls to ask someone out, namely that someone who’s been eyeing you at that place you both frequent. And, whatever you do, resist the urge to go online.

Do it in person. Men have died exploring the known world. You can ask someone out.

5. It’s An Excuse to Clean Up Nice. Between the sludge on the streets and the frigid air, February sucks enough as it is. Spending a night impressing someone with your inimitable style’s not just good manners, you’ll feel great, too. Put on something nice, style your hair, and enjoy someone else doing the same.

Lastly, don’t complain about money. Men don’t complain about money. They improvise. Last we checked, walks through parks were free. Add that to dinner, either before or after. Old-school cinemas show flicks for $10-$15 a pop, and that’s a no-brainer. You get the picture.

Men lead, and they don’t whine.

Strong, stoic men have no qualms with showing love for being loved.

And you know it.